Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Time crawls when you’re trying to be patient.

My mom landed in Tulsa this morning. I can’t really let myself stop and think about it because I’m – jealous isn’t the right word – but something similar to jealous, but less mean. I just wish with all my heart that I could hold and meet baby Cate again. I Skyped with mommy & baby yesterday, and Cate is so much different than when she was only five days old. She’s alert with the prettiest, huge  open eyes. I can’t wait to see her again…oh heavens, it will be great! But I’m so thankful that Mom can be there to help and enjoy the precious time with the newest member of our family. Still hard for me to comprehend sometimes!

Last night was nice and low-key. I went for a 20 minute run, but decided I could go another block, but then there wasn’t a road crossing over like I expected, so my 20 minute run turned into a 40 minute run. Oh well, luckily it was a day that I felt good running – less aches than normal.

It rained all morning, but the sun’s starting to emerge. I’ve been blue for a few days. It’s hard because every day I’m trying to be patient and full of trust, confidence that God will provide a job for Eugene, but each day that I wait seems to be longer than the day before. Weeks are passing and still no job. Every hour, my self-dialogue turns less encouraging. Bad, I know. I just struggle because I know that we don’t deserve any of the blessings He’s given us. We don’t deserve another huge blessing. We’re broken people who mess up all the time in a broken world. I know God can do an amazing, unthinkable thing with our job situation, but I also know that He doesn’t have to. He could decide to have us lean further on Him through a time without a job again. I’m not God, so I don’t know what we’re going to face.  I need to take one day at a time, one hour at a time, just focusing on the delight the Lord takes in caring for his flock. He delights in giving me joy. Remember that.

Psalm 18:19--He brought me out into a spacious place;  he rescued me because He delighted in me.

Zephaniah 3:17--The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing!

Oh, Praise for that!

Just for kicks, here’s a picture of the “twig” Espn tried to carry with us while we went on our evening walk. Um, probably not going to work.


He had this issue when he was younger {pictured below}, but he upgrades as he grows aparantely!


I love that he cracks me up!


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