My due date was the 12th, a Tuesday, and by Saturday I was to the super uncomfortable, ready-to-have-this-baby point. Eugene & I had a wedding to go to on that Saturday, so I used the occasion to distract me from my aching hips. We made it through the ceremony and long enough into the reception to slow dance once, but then we went home so I could relax. Before we left, I asked Eugene to pose with me for one last picture with his very pregnant wife…just in case the little one decided to come soon.
The next afternoon, I was at my life group meeting sitting in the nursery at church {how appropriate!}, and I had the urge to go to the restroom immediately. To cut to the chase, my water had broken. The three ladies in my group circled around me and prayed before I left to go home and get ready to go to the hospital. Eugene was at work, so I called him to let him know he may want to head home soon. He played it cool and calm, but he was home in a record breaking time. ;)
I called my doctor to tell her my water broke but that I wasn’t having intense contractions. She said that if I wasn’t feeling the little one move a lot, then I better come in to the hospital to get monitored. I really wanted to labor at home for as long as possible, but since I didn’t feel her move much, I decided to head in.
Eugene thought I was nuts, but before we left for the hospital I made him take my picture with my cell phone in front of the chalkboard wall one last time…
The birthing center at the hospital was super busy, so we waited for quite a while after being checked in the triage room. I wasn’t in active labor because my contractions were still about 7 minutes apart and not increasing in intensity. I walked & walked the halls of the hospital to try to jumpstart the labor. I walked the circle of the birthing floor so much that I was dizzy, but still no “real” contractions.
Next step was to go on Pitocin. My plan was to avoid any medicine as long as possible, including Pit & an epidural, but I knew once my water broke and I wasn’t having bad contractions, the likelihood of me going without Pit was slim. Around midnight I started Pitocin, and let me tell you, it wasn’t pretty. I had back labor – not sure why since that typically occurs when the baby’s facing the wrong way, but she was in the correct position. Back labor was outrageously painful. I tried to relax my whole body, tried to breathe through the surges, tried to welcome the contractions knowing that with each one I was closer to meeting my little one, but by 3:00 am when I was 100% effaced, but only 3 cm dilated, I was getting frustrated and worn down. I made it to 6:00 am {almost 12 hours after coming to the hospital}, and I looked at Eugene and told him that I couldn’t handle it any more, especially if I wanted to have enough energy to push at the end. The normal contractions were bad, but coupled with the back labor, I felt like my lungs were being squeezed with each surge, cutting my breath completely and stabbing me with pain. {Fun stuff.}
I told Eugene that if I had hours and hours left of labor {assuming I was still at 3 cm, because the nurse seemed to think I wasn’t progressing much} I needed to get an epidural, despite my desires to go without if possible. Eugene got the nurse and I told her what I was thinking and asked her if she thought I still had hours to go. She responded that she “didn’t have a crystal ball”, so told her to get the anesthesiologist.
A few minutes later, right as I was sitting up, leaning over Eugene, and beginning to get my epidural, I had the strong urge to push. I told the nurse; her face looked shocked. She paged for another nurse & frantically told her to call the doctor and tell her to come to the hospital immediately. The anesthesiologist had to finish the epidural process. Once he was done, the nurse checked me and {go figure} I was fully dilated and ready to go. Why on earth the nurse didn’t check my progress before I got the epidural, I really don’t know. {Slightly aggregating, to say the least.} I definitely wouldn’t have had the epidural if I would have known I was fully dilated and ready to push.
At that point, I was told not to push because the doctor wasn’t there yet. Let me just tell you, that was super painful! My body was pulling in/contracting intensely for pushing, so I was gagging and what not because I wasn’t letting my body do what it wanted to do. I looked at the anesthesiologist and asked him if the epidural was going to do anything for the pain at this point and he replied, “Nope, I’m sorry. It’s too late.” So I basically had the natural birth that I wanted, but had the side effects of the epidural after the birth {numb legs afterwards, etc.}
Once the doctor arrived, pushing was such a relief! The doctor said that the little one’s heart rate was going down during the contractions so she wanted to move quicker. She said a vacuum might need to be used, but I told her I could push harder. I think maybe 5 total contractions of pushing, one of really pushing hard, and before I knew it, the little one was letting out the most beautiful scream and resting on my chest!
What a relief that she was here & healthy! I just kept repeating, “Thank you, God!” I looked at Eugene & could tell he was head-over-heals in love with his beautiful girl already. I felt so much relief at that moment. This little one I=we had prayed over for years was finally here and perfectly well. Praise the Lord.
Her birth felt chaotic, borderline traumatic, to me, but I know there’s way worse/crazier stories than mine. And now, a few weeks later, I look back on her birth with smiles.
I feel such a heavy weight of humility & responsibility to bring this little one up in a way that honors God and gives her the best I can. But along with that, I am just completely overwhelmed with gratitude for finally meeting our beautiful blessing.
I love her. {So Much.}
