Baby brother’s birth.

I’m two weeks late on this, but Eugene & I are overflowing with joy to announce the birth of our son!

His birth story is quite a bit different from his sister’s. Although, similar to his sister, he decided to come after I attended a Bible study. Guess the Spirit really moves my kiddos! ;)  I went to a Bible study at 7pm on Monday night. I was having some contractions, enough to where I decided to start timing them. During the Bible study they were anywhere from 10 to 20 min apart and starting to get more intense and regular. The whole day I was feeling a little weird. I told Eugene that I thought I felt off, and I even predicted that I’d have the baby on Tuesday because I worked a LONG and HOT outdoor event on Sunday. When I had big sister, she also came two days after a huge military event I coordinated.

Like I said, during my Bible Study from 7-9pm, I was having semi-regular contractions…enough that I started to time them. I didn’t really think much of them because I had tons of contractions the last month or so of my pregnancy. It was just normal to have them off and on throughout the day. When I got home from Bible Study, I talked to Eugene a little about our days, then got ready for bed. We laid down around 10:30pm, read a chapter from Psalms together, prayed together, then turned off the light. Eugene usually falls asleep way faster than I do, so try to use that quiet time to have some personal prayer myself. I kid you not – I was praying to God, “I trust your timing, Lord, but if it’s your will, please let the baby come in the next day or two.” During that exact prayer, I felt a pop/small burst, and I knew my water had broken. I told Eugene and he jumped out of bed and began packing. {He isn’t one to pack bags ahead of time…luckily, I had already packed my bag and big sister’s bag.} I told Eugene I didn’t want to leave right away and I wanted time to make sure it was my water breaking. Last time, my water broke around 4pm, and I didn’t have the baby until almost 7am. I didn’t see the need to rush to the hospital just to hang out walking the halls again.

Eugene’s mom came over to sleep at our house so we didn’t have to wake up big sister. {Thank you, Lori!} I got my stuff together, washed my hair, {yes, I wasn’t about to have greasy hair for 2 days in the hospital!}, and we headed in to the hospital about 30 minutes after my water initially broke.

When we got there, we checked in, and headed to triage. I answered 2,000 questions, and then they checked my progress. The nurses kept saying how difficult it was to tell because the baby was so incredibly low. Eventually they told me I was already at 6 cm and having regular contractions. This was going to be much quicker than the first time!

I asked for a nurse who was comfortable with a birth without pain medicine, and God gave me an absolutely amazing nurse. Complete blessing! Nicole, my nurse, got me on antibiotics {I tested positive for Group B Strep}, and then she kindly suggested a few tips to get the labor moving even quicker – rocking my hips on my birthing ball, moving to all fours on the bed, and relaxing my lower muscles with each contraction. She was helpful but not forceful or overbearing. I cannot praise her enough – she made my whole labor experience so much better than my first!

My sister and Eugene were there to help me through the painful contractions. My sister played with my hair, got me water {I was ridiculously thirsty the whole time}, and massaged/put pressure on my back during the contractions. Eugene stood in front of me while I would lean all my weight on him and bear hug him with each contraction. He would talk me through them and let me know when the contraction was almost over by watching the monitor. That was really helpful for me to know when each one was almost over. I just remember saying how sleepy and tired I was. I seriously wanted to fall asleep while sitting on the birthing ball. I couldn’t keep my eyes open, and I could hardly hold myself up {which is why I wanted to lean on Eugene.} Without Nicole, Eugene, and my sister, I couldn't have made it through the labor and delivery without pain medication or without keeping my sanity! ;)

 

My water broke around 10:40pm, and little brother arrived a short 4 hours and 40 some minutes later. Waaay faster this time! It was intense. Very strong contractions, but thankfully I didn’t have back labor this time. That back labor and pitocin last time was AWFUL. I am so thankful that I didn’t experience either of those this time around.

This time around the doctor was already at the hospital, which is a good thing because I transition to being ready to push ridiculously fast. Once it was time to push, it only took 15 minutes or less to meet little brother. I think the labor was easier this time around, but delivery and after delivery was much more painful this time. Perhaps the epidural I got way too late last time actually kicked in ever so slightly to take the edge off of the after delivery part. This time, not so much…I’ll spare you details on that. ;)

As painful and unpleasant as this delivery was, I had a great labor and delivery. Little brother was surprisingly extremely active through the whole labor so I never had to worry if he was okay. I made it through it as I wanted to, without an epidural. I had an awesome nurse and support, enough time to get a full dose of antibiotics in, and it went much faster this time…without pitocin or back labor! Seriously, God was all over every aspect of baby brother’s birth. Thank you, Lord!

We are so in love with this little guy. What an absolute blessing he is.

It’s a…

Today, Eugene and I went to the 20 week ultrasound. I prayed a few very specific things late last night while trying to fall asleep. God was so gracious and answered each exactly! It was a morning chock full of wondrous things. And the best thing? Without a doubt, watching my healthy baby baby wave and turn and roll.

Eugene’s evening baseball game was cancelled for bad weather, so that gave us an unexpected free evening. We decide to let our family in on the “secret” this evening, rather than our original plan of later this week. They were pretty anxious to know whether they can expect a boy or another girl. The reveal was nothing nearly as planned or big as the little one’s gender reveal, but I still wanted to make it exciting and fun. This baby is definitely worth celebrating. :)

P.S. Can we just take a moment to look at the last gender reveal and notice how much my house has changed? And I just love how excited everyone was. Oh what love!

This time around, we went to Eugene’s parents’ house, followed by dinner with my family at our house {potato soup & my new favorite cornbread recipe – I’ll share it here soon.} I figured it’d be fun to let the little one do the revealing. I saw an idea online of putting food dye inside homemade white play dough to reveal the baby’s gender. Seemed easy enough…other than the fact that the little one isn’t quite as aggressive as needed to work the color out quickly. But after a little help and encouragement, everyone finally saw a peak of a color…

Can you tell yet? It’s a..

It’s a…

Baby is a…

…

…

…

Yep – little one will have a baby BROTHER in August!

We did the same thing with my niece and the little one later in the evening when my family came over…

My sister wanted to watch the ultrasound DVD, but the girls really just wanted to make snowmen with their play dough. ;)

Eugene and I are thrilled to welcome a baby boy into our family. {Although, please pass on boy advice to me! Coming from a family with two girls, I’m a serious boy rookie!}

My prayer is that God will use us to raise a true Godly man. Such a responsibility and a privilege. We are blessed beyond measure. I’m still in shock – oh boy, oh boy!

Pregnancy update.

I feel like I need to introduce myself again. I’ve been a little {a lot} absent on this blog lately…or the last two years. I’m not going to apologize, because I’ve been busy living and loving life, but I’m going to attempt to hop back into posting here a bit more regularly as baby’s due date gets closer.

I’ve avoided taking any dreaded “selfies” so far this pregnancy, which is a far cry from my chalkboard monthly pregnancy last time around. However, to do a pregnancy update without posting a picture seemed a bit criminal. So here ya go…

I feel like I look huge already – way bigger than last time, but I guess that’s normal with round two. It really depends on the day. Some days I don’t have a big belly, but others {like today} are all bump. I can still kinda look not pregnant if I wear certain outfits, but when I put on a tight maternity shirt, there’s no hiding the bulging belly. Here’s another pic I tried to take with my phone, and it captures my life perfectly right now…

She’s my little blur, running circles around me. And yes, I’m barefoot and pregnant – hardy har har. Okay, onto some of the usual questions. If this bores you, sorry; feel free to move on.

How far along are you now?
I’m just a few days away from 19 weeks. I feel like it’s going quickly, probably because I’m so busy being a SAHM who works from home and in the office some too.

How are you feeling?
I’m finally feeling better. I’ve been MIA on the blog through the first half of this pregnancy because I pretty much felt like crap the whole time. I may be wrong, but I feel like this pregnancy has been much different {so far} from my last pregnancy. Last time, my biggest symptom was dizziness; this time, I haven’t experienced hardly an dizziness, but had much more nausea and fatigue. It’s pretty much every night that I wake up around 10pm on the couch to Eugene telling me it’s time to go to bed. I can’t fight it. I just fall asleep daily between 8:30 and 9:30…I’m so exhausted. Around 16 or 17 weeks along, my nasty nausea seemed to dissipate, {thank goodness!} which was perfect timing because Eugene was out of town for a few days right around that time.

Have you had any cravings?
Yes, and they usually change from week to week. For a while, I was craving soups, vegetable soup mainly. I craved tuna salad a few times, and Mexican food this week. I craved milkshakes a couple weeks ago. Contrary to last time, I haven’t craved my two previously biggest cravings popsicles or McDonald’s {ew} at all this time around. Perhaps it will come, but my indigestion has been super bad this time, so the idea of McDonald’s is a total turn off.

Are you going to find out the gender?
Yep. And I’m pretty stinkin excited about it. I don’t like surprises, and I really like planning {hints my career as an Event Planner/Manager.} Eugene likes stats; any info that’s available to him, he wants to know it. So, while I know some people love waiting until birth to find out the gender {I admire you!}, I just don’t think that’s for us right now. I’m not sure if we’ll do a gender reveal party like last time. The timing isn’t great with Eugene’s baseball schedule, and I just don’t know if I have the energy to throw it all together. We’ll see. We had a much more fun announcement with this pregnancy compared to last time {because we were pretty scared last time following the miscarriage,} so I won’t be super disappointed if I can’t pull together another gender party. At the very least, I’d like to at least tell both our families at the same time if possible.

Do you have plans figured out for when baby comes?
Hmm, nope, not really. A lot is hinging on the gender. I purposely picked a room color/scheme that would work with either gender, so we plan to move the little one {who will need to get a new “blog nickname” soon!} into a new big girl room and let baby take the current nursery. As far as work goes, we’re going to keep praying on it. I have a fantastic situation of being able to work from home most of the week, while heading into the office a few days. It’s been a huge God-thing, allowing us to pay off all our debt, but we want to be wise and open to what God wants as our future changes. We’d love to get a bigger vehicle so that I can take my niece places – meaning 3 car seats, but it’s probably doubtful that we can swing that. We’ll continue to use cloth diapers, and I won’t have to purchase any additional ones. Other than all that, I think we’re pretty set – well, that is unless it’s a boy. Then we need manly clothes for sure.

What has you most excited?
Probably the thought of the little one having a sibling. She’s going to absolutely love her baby brother or sister; she’s such a friendly and joyful person, so having a built-in sidekick is going to be awesome for her. I’m also super excited to see Eugene become a dad again. That just might be my favorite part about being a mom – watching him love as a dad – and I cannot wait to see him form that bond again. I’m also really excited to welcome another little being into our family. I think I’ll be able to enjoy the newborn stage more this time around. Last time, I had no concept of the light at the end of the tunnel. We had serious feeding issues, and now I’m aware and prepared for those again. I also wasn’t confident in my mothering skills {although I doubt myself plenty still, don’t get me wrong}, but my fear and anxiety really affected the little one’s demeanor the first few weeks/months. I know it’s tough now. I know the first months are really REALLY rough, but I also know now how absolutely beautiful parenthood gets. I’m not one of those moms who falls instantly in love the second the baby is placed on her chest. I take time to form relationships and bonds. Maybe that’s bad, or maybe it’s taboo to say, but now that I’ve experienced the incredible bond that I have with the little one, I know the sweetness that’s ahead with this baby. The pure joy that grows is unparalleled. And I am so excited for that.

Some news worth sharing.

She has something to tell you…

She may not exactly understand what she’s celebrating, but in late August, I have no doubt the little one will be SO excited to meet her baby brother or sister. With 2 years and 2 months between them, I have a sneaking suspicion that have some very fun {and crazy} times are in our future!

How amazing is God that a tiny little babe, just the size of a lime can have individual finger bones, kicking legs, and even a humming heart that sounds like heaven. We’re feeling overwhelmed with blessings.

And just to leave you with a laugh, the little one grabbed my lens cap. I asked her if she could put it in her pocket, and this is what she did…

Like I said, I’m thinking we have lots more laughs to come with two!

Mixed emotions.

This is my first Mother’s Day with my baby in my arms. Three years ago on Mother’s Day, I was aching with months after months of infertility and praying with all my heart that God would bless us with a baby. Two years ago, I was absolutely heartbroken over a miscarriage I suffered two months prior to Mother’s Day. One year ago, I was 8 months pregnant and so anxious to meet my baby and know that she was going to be okay. And today, my eyes well up with tears at the thought of this spunky, joyful little girl that God has blessed me with.

Becoming a mother has been life-changing, eye-opening, and heart-filling. So on what most would consider my “first” Mother’s Day, I’m overwhelmed with gratitude and happy thoughts. However, I consider this my third Mother’s Day, and the emotions from that first Mother’s Day are still very raw and real. I miss my first baby. I miss that child from the depths of my soul so deeply I can’t even explain it to someone who has never miscarried. I still remember the aching pain of that Mother’s Day, along with the Mother’s Day before when I wondered if I’d ever be blessed with a child of my own.

The fact is, Mother’s Day is hard for a lot of people. My heart hurts for so many around me who lost their mother when it seems that there’re are still way too many memories that should have been shared and made, women who are forced to be a single mother and bear all the responsibility while struggling to make ends meet, women who long so desperately just to become a mother, people who have to continue on living somehow after losing their child. Mother’s Day is hard.

Today my heart is both heavy and joyful. I will be purposeful to think of the lovely {Philippians 4:8} and soak up every second with my little one, remember the loss of my little one, and pray for those who are hurting this Mother’s Day.

I am blessed beyond measure this Mother’s Day.

The chaotic birth story.

My due date was the 12th, a Tuesday, and by Saturday I was to the super uncomfortable, ready-to-have-this-baby point. Eugene & I had a wedding to go to on that Saturday, so I used the occasion to distract me from my aching hips. We made it through the ceremony and long enough into the reception to slow dance once, but then we went home so I could relax. Before we left, I asked Eugene to pose with me for one last picture with his very pregnant wife…just in case the little one decided to come soon.

The next afternoon, I was at my life group meeting sitting in the nursery at church {how appropriate!}, and I had the urge to go to the restroom immediately. To cut to the chase, my water had broken. The three ladies in my group circled around me and prayed before I left to go home and get ready to go to the hospital. Eugene was at work, so I called him to let him know he may want to head home soon. He played it cool and calm, but he was home in a record breaking time. ;)

I called my doctor to tell her my water broke but that I wasn’t having intense contractions. She said that if I wasn’t feeling the little one move a lot, then I better come in to the hospital to get monitored. I really wanted to labor at home for as long as possible, but since I didn’t feel her move much, I decided to head in.

Eugene thought I was nuts, but before we left for the hospital I made him take my picture with my cell phone in front of the chalkboard wall one last time…

The birthing center at the hospital was super busy, so we waited for quite a while after being checked in the triage room. I wasn’t in active labor because my contractions were still about 7 minutes apart and not increasing in intensity. I walked & walked the halls of the hospital to try to jumpstart the labor. I walked the circle of the birthing floor so much that I was dizzy, but still no “real” contractions.

Next step was to go on Pitocin. My plan was to avoid any medicine as long as possible, including Pit & an epidural, but I knew once my water broke and I wasn’t having bad contractions, the likelihood of me going without Pit was slim. Around midnight I started Pitocin, and let me tell you, it wasn’t pretty. I had back labor – not sure why since that typically occurs when the baby’s facing the wrong way, but she was in the correct position. Back labor was outrageously painful. I tried to relax my whole body, tried to breathe through the surges, tried to welcome the contractions knowing that with each one I was closer to meeting my little one, but by 3:00 am when I was 100% effaced, but only 3 cm dilated, I was getting frustrated and worn down. I made it to 6:00 am {almost 12 hours after coming to the hospital}, and I looked at Eugene and told him that I couldn’t handle it any more, especially if I wanted to have enough energy to push at the end. The normal contractions were bad, but coupled with the back labor, I felt like my lungs were being squeezed with each surge, cutting my breath completely and stabbing me with pain. {Fun stuff.}

I told Eugene that if I had hours and hours left of labor {assuming I was still at 3 cm, because the nurse seemed to think I wasn’t progressing much} I needed to get an epidural, despite my desires to go without if possible. Eugene got the nurse and I told her what I was thinking and asked her if she thought I still had hours to go. She responded that she “didn’t have a crystal ball”, so told her to get the anesthesiologist.

A few minutes later, right as I was sitting up, leaning over Eugene, and beginning to get my epidural, I had the strong urge to push. I told the nurse; her face looked shocked. She paged for another nurse & frantically told her to call the doctor and tell her to come to the hospital immediately. The anesthesiologist had to finish the epidural process. Once he was done, the nurse checked me and {go figure} I was fully dilated and ready to go. Why on earth the nurse didn’t check my progress before I got the epidural, I really don’t know. {Slightly aggregating, to say the least.} I definitely wouldn’t have had the epidural if I would have known I was fully dilated and ready to push.

At that point, I was told not to push because the doctor wasn’t there yet. Let me just tell you, that was super painful! My body was pulling in/contracting intensely for pushing, so I was gagging and what not because I wasn’t letting my body do what it wanted to do. I looked at the anesthesiologist and asked him if the epidural was going to do anything for the pain at this point and he replied, “Nope, I’m sorry. It’s too late.” So I basically had the natural birth that I wanted, but had the side effects of the epidural after the birth {numb legs afterwards, etc.}

Once the doctor arrived, pushing was such a relief! The doctor said that the little one’s heart rate was going down during the contractions so she wanted to move quicker. She said a vacuum might need to be used, but I told her I could push harder. I think maybe 5 total contractions of pushing, one of really pushing hard, and before I knew it, the little one was letting out the most beautiful scream and resting on my chest!

What a relief that she was here & healthy! I just kept repeating, “Thank you, God!” I looked at Eugene & could tell he was head-over-heals in love with his beautiful girl already. I felt so much relief at that moment. This little one I=we had prayed over for years was finally here and perfectly well. Praise the Lord.

Her birth felt chaotic, borderline traumatic, to me, but I know there’s way worse/crazier stories than mine. And now, a few weeks later, I look back on her birth with smiles.

I feel such a heavy weight of humility & responsibility to bring this little one up in a way that honors God and gives her the best I can. But along with that, I am just completely overwhelmed with gratitude for finally meeting our beautiful blessing.

I love her. {So Much.}

Almost forty weeks of growth.

My collage is finally complete. :) {If you click on the photo it will open in a larger screen.}

The last pregnancy photo is a rushed cell photo after my water broke, but the very last photo is my favorite, of course.

It’s amazing to see me/her grow over the weeks, and it’s crazy she was in me and just a week later is in my arms!

Happy one week of life, little one.