Mixed emotions.

This is my first Mother’s Day with my baby in my arms. Three years ago on Mother’s Day, I was aching with months after months of infertility and praying with all my heart that God would bless us with a baby. Two years ago, I was absolutely heartbroken over a miscarriage I suffered two months prior to Mother’s Day. One year ago, I was 8 months pregnant and so anxious to meet my baby and know that she was going to be okay. And today, my eyes well up with tears at the thought of this spunky, joyful little girl that God has blessed me with.

Becoming a mother has been life-changing, eye-opening, and heart-filling. So on what most would consider my “first” Mother’s Day, I’m overwhelmed with gratitude and happy thoughts. However, I consider this my third Mother’s Day, and the emotions from that first Mother’s Day are still very raw and real. I miss my first baby. I miss that child from the depths of my soul so deeply I can’t even explain it to someone who has never miscarried. I still remember the aching pain of that Mother’s Day, along with the Mother’s Day before when I wondered if I’d ever be blessed with a child of my own.

The fact is, Mother’s Day is hard for a lot of people. My heart hurts for so many around me who lost their mother when it seems that there’re are still way too many memories that should have been shared and made, women who are forced to be a single mother and bear all the responsibility while struggling to make ends meet, women who long so desperately just to become a mother, people who have to continue on living somehow after losing their child. Mother’s Day is hard.

Today my heart is both heavy and joyful. I will be purposeful to think of the lovely {Philippians 4:8} and soak up every second with my little one, remember the loss of my little one, and pray for those who are hurting this Mother’s Day.

I am blessed beyond measure this Mother’s Day.

Wire welcome.

I made some more wire fabric-wrapped letters. This time I spelled out “Welcome” and attached it to my wreath on my front door with some hot glue…

It’s a little subtle color on my door, and a nice message to visitors. :)

Baby Cate is three.

This was such a fun birthday to watch my niece enjoy. She’s old enough this year to really get into everything of the party. She got a little shy for a bit of the time, but she seemed to really enjoy her “Hungry Caterpillar” themed party. {My sister did such a great job putting together the cutest party!} Here are some pictures from the day…

She looks so grown up here! {You can’t really tell from the pic, but even her dress has hungry caterpillar food on it!}

The little one got some time with Grandpa. And even she looks super old here. Gosh it’s nuts our babies aren’t babies anymore!

Four generations of blonde beauties..

I love this photo below. Happy sister, happy niece. Two absolutely gorgeous people…

She loved all her gifts…

I gave her an owl piggy bank, so she’s saying “Whooo” here. ;)

Cate, despite a crazy year, it’s been an absolute blessing to have the gift of more time with you. You are a strong, independent, resilient, remarkably smart, goofy, caring, completely loveable girl and I’m so thankful for your birthday and YOU!

More dancing.

We’ve had a lot of dinners at the baseball field lately.

We’re not fair-weather fans…

But for the most part, the weather’s been gorgeous, and the little one loves being at baseball games so it’s a win-win {and hopefully a win for the team too!}

It’s usually a family affair – Eugene’s grandpa & dad help coach {and they always come out between innings to say hi to her}, and sometimes the little one gets extra time with Nana, Uncle Dillan, Aunt Heidi, or Aunt Kelsey.

I’ve shared this before {see here}, but the little one loves to dance at her dada’s baseball games. There’s always music played between innings and after the game {if they win}, and lately she’s been really getting into it!

I love it at about 7 seconds in when she falls over from dancing so hard and then bobs to catch the beat again!

…love…

My life right now.

About three or four weeks ago, one of my two Event Coordinators who I manage took a new job, so I’ve had to rush like mad to find her replacement, do my job & hers during our busy time of the year {and baseball season.} That has translated into many more hours at work, lots of interviews and calls, and even at home I would spend hours working. Thus, my house/life reveals the aftermath.

This one photo pretty much sums up my life for the past month or two:

In case you can’t see it in detail, let me elaborate. I’m all about keeping it real here. I’ll break the photo down for you left to right. Three toys in the kitchen, plus boxes on the floor to entertain the little one. My scarf I wore to work last week still hasn’t made it to my closet, hanging on the kitchen chair is close, right? A big bag I brought up from the basement to carry all the stuff I take to the baseball games, but I haven’t remembered to use it yet. My laptop on the kitchen table, constantly emailing/IMing/managing. Open bag of chips out from Eugene’s snack last night. Bottles still packed in their bag from yesterday. Dog food & water bowels on the counter because some little baby really likes to try to eat the dog food and splash the water. Dishes in the sink, bottles and baby items drying on the counter. An unopened jar of salsa…no clue why/how this got here! Coffee pot partially put away. Baby food {quinoa} cooking on the stove with the potholder drawer half open. Pears on the counter waiting to be peeled, diced, and cooked for the little one. My lunch: cantaloupe out of a big bowl and a veggie chicken patty on a plate {because we’re out of bread} on the counter because I was eating standing up while emailing and cooking baby food. A jar of couscous because I accidentally bought that first instead of the quinoa. {Oops.} And lastly, rugs all whopper jawed because my little one thinks its fun throw them around the kitchen.

And that’s just my kitchen; can you imagine the rest of the house! ;)

I’ve been so busy just trying to keep up with life that I haven’t had time to blog anything…and so much is going on! Mainly, this…

The pic is blurry because as of about a week and a half ago SHE’S WALKING! Baby steps, mind you, but she’s moving on her own! Here’s a not-so-good video of it {I was the only one home, so it’s not the best vantage point, ha!}

I think the most she’s taken at a time is about 7 steps, and they’re pretty much running-fall style. Love it!

Wire fabric-wrapped letters.

I saw this craft on a blog I read and also on an Instagram feed I follow, but I couldn’t find a tutorial anywhere. I sat on the idea for a few months {I’ve been ridiculously/overwhelmingly busy lately}, but I finally had a reason to go out and buy the supplies. I decided to make a housewarming gift for a good friend from my life-group at church who is moving to Texas. She’s pictured below on the far left…this is at my baby shower a while back. {Wow, I forgot how low I carried!}

“Joy” has been our theme for the last year and a half, so I thought it’d be a nice reminder of our time together…

I’m not sure if this is the best way to make them, but this seemed to work alright for my first try. Oh, and sorry about the blurry, poor-quality photos. I did this late at night and didn’t think to use my nice camera much. Here are my supplies…

I bought the galvanized wire at Walmart. I can’t remember the exact price, something like $3.80, definitely under 4 bucks. And I have tons left – lots more words to shape up. {I think “hope” will be my next project.} Other than the wire, I only used some pliers, leftover fabric {two were old button-up shirts of mine, and the other is a vintage sheet I bought at a thrift store.} Oh, and I used a hot glue gun too.

First, I shaped the wire into my word. It’s a good thing I learned cursive ;)’

I didn’t really take photos from this point on, but it was a super simple process. I cut long strips of fabric about 1-1.5” wide and as long as the fabric allowed, for most of the strips this was probably around 20” long. To start each piece of fabric, I just put a little hot glue on the end of wire and pressed the fabric onto it.  I wanted to use different fabric for each letter, so I used the same method at the start of each letter. It would look cute to do the same fabric for the whole word too though.

For the fabric strips, you could either iron the edges of the fabric under if you wanted a clean look, or leave the fabric’s edges raw to go with the slightly frayed look. I folded it under some just as I wrapped, but there were some frays showing, and I was okay with that.

When I got to the end of the letter/word, I just hot glued the fabric down and cut away any excess. See, I told you it was a synch!

This was a really inexpensive craft that only took me about 20-30 minutes from start to finish.

It was surprisingly sturdy once the fabric was added. You could hang it on your wall, display it on a shelf, or just stick it on your desk.

EnJoy!

Ten months.

Ten months have gone by since the day we met our little one face to face, and my how she’s grown!

The picture above on the left is when she was about 9 months ago {she was just under one month old.} It’s been incredible to watch God grow my daughter at such a fast pace. She’s really starting to exude personality in the last month. She’s spunky, curious, stubborn {at times}, affectionate, friendly, and silly. She loves seeing people – it’s an instant smile & double-handed wave to them. She gets visibly excited when they wave & smile back. It’s been my prayer since I found out I was pregnant again that she would bring joy to those around her, and that’s exactly what she does. She is full of joy.

She’s back to her old slobbery grin – two bottom teeth in and her top two trying to pop through…

She’s always been vocal, but now she’s much more communicative. Her noises seem more intentional and have a pattern to them. No real words yet {other than Mama, Dada, & Nana}, but she is definitely trying to communicate. Oh, and she “barks” whenever she hears a dog, pictured below…

Did I mention she’s curious?! Always, always trying to touch and experience something new.

Especially now that she’s cruising. Getting’ into everything! Keeps Mama on her toes for sure!

I could be wrong {first-time-mom and all}, but I think she’ll be walking very soon. She loves to stand & cruise, take a diving lung from one piece of furniture to the next, and will even stand alone for a brief second.

She now loves drinking through a straw. She absolutely loves playing with her volleyball {or any ball, really}. She’ll play roll/pass for at least a half hour straight. She also loves her toothbrush, more sucking on it than anything!

I hesitate to put this in writing, but she’s finally sleeping better. She goes to sleep around 8:30 and usually sleeps straight until 5:30 or 6:30. It’s been a huge relief to get consistent nights in a row with sleep, both for her and for Eugene & me.

She can wave, dance, play patty cake, blow kisses, all on command. My smarty pants! {Although, I realize I’m about as biased as it can get on evaluating her, ha!}

And I think it’s worth mentioning twice: this girl has personality!

I love her silly self!

What a fun month this has been for us, watching her grow. :)