Learning the same lesson.

So, I feel like God keeps challenging me to learn the same lesson over and over again. Sad, isn't it, when it takes months {or years} to learn from an experience. Well, God keeps working on my life, reminding me literally daily that His plan for my life is ultimate and perfect - yet His ways are not like mine. He is in control, and His timing is perfect. I've heard him prodding me continually to trust in Him, give Him the control of my paths, and to fight the fear of the unknown steps, future and plan for my life. Why am I such a slow learner?!

Last night's small group discussion was on the chapter "Singleness" in the book This Momentary Marriage. We talked about how God has promised great blessings for those who are chosen to remain single, but we also talked about the fact that marriage shouldn't be {and isn't} the ultimate relationship. We should be more concerned about how we relate to the lost and to our siblings in Christ - the relationships that last eternally - rather than our marriage, which is only momentary. The chapter prompts a question, how are you caring for and growing your children for Christ. I'm not sure how many, or if any, "children" I've raised for Christ,  but I hope there's a few! Definitely made me remind myself to be purposeful with my relating to people and to not view my marriage as the one-and-only-top-thing. Being realistic about marriage this way, also strengthens marriage by setting realistic expectations for the spouse.

Sorry, got a little off topic there, but the point was that after last night's discussion, Libby and I chatted with each other about how God's plan for us is so much bigger than us and our plan. He's got it all under control, and yet we both tend to question and even doubt whether we're taking the "right" steps for our lives. Trust that His purpose for your life - whether single or married - is perfect, good, and just. To doubt Him or to question where we are in our lives right now is just insane...yet, I've been challenged with countless situations this year to drive this home and test my trust. It becomes a daily reaffirmation that I must clearly state: I will trust Your plan for my life, Lord. I know You will provide, just as you promised. Your will, not mine, is the way I want. Drive me along Your plan, Father, and I will hold tightly to Your hand and enjoy {not stress over} each blessing of a day you give me!

So in action that means, stop calculating "hypothetically" where Eugene and I will be in 6 months, 1 year, 2 years. Stop questioning whether I'm working the job God wants me to be working. Stop worrying about when we're going to pay off our college loans. Stop wondering when/if we will ever buy a house. Um, easier said than done! See why I need many many months to actually learn it!

Keep prodding me, God; I clearly need it!